Crime Boss Rockay City is a terrible videogame, it's an experience has virtually no redeeming features. We could go on, there are so many issues here, but let's keep it short and sweet. Nothing ever manages to get into a decent flow and you end up shooting through an endless barrage of dullard cops and SWAT units as you try to flee the scene of yet another mess. However, without fail, heists deteriorate into a shambles because of bugs - oh hey, that cop just spotted me through a brick wall! - and shoddy mechanics. That's what should happen, that's what the game is aiming for. Let's get it right, let's do this with style to spare you think, let's be stealthy, take out the cameras, tie up the guards, slink past witnesses, shut down the surveillance room, pull off this robbery like the absolute De Niros we are. Launching into heists you can't help but feel a little enthused, you're about to do a cool Michael Mann-style robbery. There are crumbs of a somewhat decent game along the way. There are a few fleeting moments where you can almost see something better. The core of this game is weak and no amount of Michael Madsen, Kim Basinger or Vanilla bloody Ice is going to fix that. There's just no joy to be had in such a sloppy, old-fashioned and bland shooter. Moving on from that terrible solo mode and you get two weak co-operative efforts that do little more than throw you into the exact same scenarios and maps you've played through in Baker's Battle and, with weapons, action and AI as bad as what's here, it's almost impossible to drum up any sort of fun, regardless of whether or not you've recruited some eager pals to help out. We're not sure how much INGAME STUDIOS forked out for all of these movie stars but when you've got them reading dialogue this embarrassing it perhaps would have been a better idea to invest in some writers who didn't think that throwing a bunch of lame cuss words into every single sentence makes things edgy and cool. AI bots stand around and wait, run straight into fire and make a nuisance of themselves, and the dialogue.well, deary me, the dialogue. Weapons are limp and forgettable, with shots failing to give any sort of satisfying feedback or response as they connect. The actual gunplay here is excruciatingly bad. We kicked off our time with this one by jumping into the single-player story campaign, Baker's Battle, an incredibly messy - almost nonsensical - set of bland missions that attempt to dazzle you with their star power whilst frogmarching you through small, linear maps packed full of insta-spawning dullard enemies who make a beeline for your position with zero tactical nous. A quick fumble around the three uninspired gameplay modes on offer here reveals a terribly basic and hackneyed co-op shooter that's got all dressed up into its best 90s gear and then fallen asleep on the way to the party. It's a window that's violently shut closed on your hopeful little fingers almost immediately though. It doesn't look half bad in places either and, for a brief window in those opening moments you may just find yourself thinking you've got your hands on a certified banger. You've taken part in a daylight shootout against police and SWAT units as ICE-T's 1992 classic Bodycount's in The House blasts away in the background. Within moments of booting into this one you've met flashy video game versions of Michael Madsen, Kim Basinger, Vanilla Ice, Chuck Norris, Danny Glover (our favourite of all the Dannys) and Michael Rooker. It should work, it could work, we desperately want it to work! However, this is one heist that ends in a messy bloodbath before its crew has had time to pull on their ski-masks.Ĭrime Boss Rockay City absolutely knows it's bad too, you can tell by how it so desperately frontloads all of its (incredible) star power and its killer soundtrack into the opening minutes of the game. This Payday clone, in which you and a bunch of buddies - or AI bots - perform what should be super-stylish robberies, has put all of its hopes - and seemingly an absolute ton of cash - into nailing this cool and edgy vibe from another era. If you've ever watched Michael Mann's sublime 90's crime caper Heat, and specifically the famous heist scene within it that ends in a prolonged running gun battle down the streets of LA, you'll know the exact tone and flavour that Czech developer INGAME STUDIOS was hoping to nail with Crime Boss Rockay City.
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